The Main Char-ACTORS
RUBY TRAVIS is a sports widow. Over 111 million viewers watched the Super Bowl this year, the majority of which were men, and you can bet there are just as many sports widows. Ruby has come to loathe sports for kidnapping her husband 11 months out of the year and is tired of coming in second place. If only Gus would remember her birthday their anniversary, or to pick up the kids from school. She has a Honey-Do List of chores 100' ft long on a toilet paper roll which gets between Gus and The Game. Sound familiar? This causes conflict in their marriage. But by the end of the show they’ve worked things out and everything gets put back together.
There’s one thing about a gal who has lots of secrets and that is she’ll bury yours to safekeep her own. Ruby has no intention of ever walking into Gus’ garage to spy on what lurks there, and she fully expects her husband to return the favor. A detail few folks in Bakersfield do know about Ruby is she has breast implants and a bomb shelter in her backyard. It’s obvious what she’s hiding on her chest, but what’s down in the underground vault? An episode finally reveals the secret cellar houses a crypt full of trendy shoes—Calvin Klein, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Steve Madden, Christian Louboutin, and more. It’s a monumental subterranean walk-in closet, chock-full of every designer shoe imaginable, Size 7 1/2.
GUS TRAVIS is a sports fanatic extraordinaire. He's addicted
to sports―televised and otherwise―that’s the NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB,
PGA , and UFC. Our lead is the personification of almost every major
sports fan in the country. He lives and breathes sports, 24/7.
Gus unadulterated sports fanaticism and the heavy price he pays for
it is the core of our comedy and the heart of the series. Most of us can identify with Gus' plight; he lost a precious sport's career
to an early injury and longs for his glory days. He doesn't do Yoga, and therefore can't cope.
Gus is proud of his .03 acre of land. He would be fine just living in a trailer, and does. Who wouldn’t be? "It’s paid for," he constantly reminds those in town who still pay a mortgage. Without question, though, he'd like a doublewide. Living in a trailer with a broken toilet
isn't the safest place to live, especially when you have to cope with Gus’ irritable bowel syndrome in close quarters with no ceiling fan. Anyone who’s ever lived in a trailer knows what a “mercy flush” is, but it’s a moot point when Gus is around. Gus can’t read, has poor hygiene, and is terrible with directions. He’s “in-like” with his tools in a big way, owns big wrenches and bigger hammers. Yet, there’s nothing that compares to what Gus calls “The Gift of the Gods”― Duct Tape. When it comes to fixing things around the house, Gus
uses Duct Tape for everything!
CHEEZ, 11, is their precocious, trendy daughter. She's fad prone, and speaks all the latest text and internet slag. Hell, she invented most of it! Everything is "awesomesauce" with Cheez, except for one thing that stands between her and becoming an adolescent teenager—her pesky brother, Trevor. The two are at odds incessantly, and carry around with them actual playbook Trapper Keepers filled with schematics and diagrams they've deivsed on how to outprank their sibling rivalry. Her greatest asset is that she's got booksmarts, her downfall—she's not streetsmart like Trevor.
TREVOR, 8, is their multiple personality son. He's like any other 8 yr old—dubious, yet undaunted about the world he lives in. Instead, he's serially obsessed with the world of comic books and pg. 59 of his priceless Spiderman Adventures, Issue 15. He's not taking your word for it this "time", and will have your Rolex off your arm and in shambles just to see how it ticks. He just wants to know how things operate and girls function, all in an attempt to figure out and control his nemisis older sister, Cheez.
Rounding out the Travis mania is CHIP, 3, a sports-mezmerized toddler who's rarely seen without a "ball" in hand or worshipping Gus like he's a sports god.
The Wallace Neighbors
REGGIE WALLACE. Reggie, African American, is a U.S. mail carrier and the most credible
and reliable of the posse. He’s got integrity, a bank account, a government job, and a sworn badge to protect the
confidentiality of America. Heck, he sorts through thousands of sensitive letters and documents in a single day
at the post office. There’s not an envelope he won’t reseal, nor stamp he won’t re-lick just so the mail gets to its
intended recipient on time. Reggie’s most trusted friend is his mail truck, Nessie; it is unquestionably the most
dependable vehicle on the road, bar none. He also has a heliport atop his roof and anxiously awaits the day in Bakersfield when an emergency package such as an organ transplant needs delivered to the county hospital by Wallace Air. The organ donor becomes available in Episode 6.
Reggie loves to fish―nothing’s more enjoyable than afternoons cooking in his bathrobe, nothing tastier than fresh catfish, battered in corn meal, splattered with Tabasco, and bathed in a hot skillet of butter. “The uglier the catfish, the better it tastes,” says Reggie.
to the North
ONYX WALLACE is married to a postal service worker and mailman-slash-preacher. You’d expect everything to be delivered religiously on time, but some Gems are not so lucky. When it comes to Reggie and household duties, everything still gets done in post-fashion. Weekend chores are just not Reggie’s thing, and besides, he has a church congregation of “one” to save… but it’s growing!
The Wallace home is all about comfort, and Onyx tries to keep the nest cozy. She owns countless pairs of comfy pajamas, an endless assortment of fuzzy animal slippers, and, she can’t seem to refrain from putting fabric softener on everything. Even the outside flowers are soft. The last trip the Wallace’s took was to the edge of town and back. Reggie called it one of those new-fangled staycations. Onyx spent the next few days down at the local beauty salon, cooling off and ringing up Reggie’s credit card with a full beauty spa treatment, including a Mani and Pedi.
The WALLACE KIDS. Reggie wanted his children to have the best of what
life had to offer, so he named them after presidents. For his two star children
athletes, WASHINGTON and REAGAN, it actually worked. But for the
remaining three at home, OBAMA CLINTON and THE BUSH, it may
have stunted their growth.
... Though, he still has faith and hope in newborn, BABY TRUMP.